The first two weeks

I lie in bed shaking
As soon as I wake up
Two hours too early

Toss and turn
Sick to my stomach
I cry in the shower
And on my way to work

One month after

I find myself in bars alone
drinking until the memory of you fades
I know that I should leave
But unlike you I choose to stay.

I slept with somebody new,
I left in the middle of the night
When I realized
I wasn't lying next to you

Two months after*

I forgot the sound of your voice
I've done some things I shouldn't
It went through my nose
And into my brain
I'm dodging men like bullets
I'm numbing all the pain

Three months after

I text you that I love you
And you never reply
I haven't cried in months now
But I still can't say goodbye
I forget the way you smell
Your side of the bed is filled with books
I remember when you first said you loved me
My heart, oh how it shook.