i want to be loved like those pills my dad swallows.
i want to know my home like i know the smell of marijuana.
i want to be held like my dad used to hold me until he was being held by a drug addiction.
who says i can't have daddy issues? sometimes i think i would have been better off if he had left when i was a child. i used to beg my mother to leave him.
i can't blame him, right? it runs in the family.
i have so much more of him in me than i'd ever like to admit.
i imagine myself doped up on some drug, any drug, falling into his arms, screaming
are you proud of me now, daddy?
i want my children to know love as well as i knew why my dads "friends" were coming over.
i want my children to be as happy as i was when my dad was clean.
i want my children to know the love i hold for them because i never knew the love my dad had for me.
i never want my children to compete for my
love.