I'm just so tired
And want to do everything right
I speak my mind
And gets me in trouble sometimes
I'm just so tired
I want everything to be right
And it's been such a tough time.

I could write poem after poem
But it won't necessarily make anything
Any easier
But I can only control where and how I go
Sometimes I often think it would be better
If I were more quiet
So I'm silencing the noise
And encountering my temper
Just wanna be so happy
In the midst of this Christmas time
A whistling of winter weather
It's always the coldest this time.

Got a vulnerable chip on my shoulder today
Feeling invalidated
Told I'm crazy, need to behave
Too dramatic, in my head
A girlfriend of mine reassures me
It's gaslit manipulation
Just apologize
For bringing me down.

But the clock ticks and goes
As Rudolph personifies
Those that voted blue
I'm so confused as to why
It's been such a trying time
My baby, I know he love me
Don't wanna disappoint
Don't wanna be too harsh
I always wanna be a winner.

But man, can't it just get any easier?

I know
It all starts with me.