i keep running

i keep running away from everyone,
the scars on my arms grow more and more and i fear
a time when i no longer have space to accommodate more.

i keep running from myself,
trying not to think myself real
i can't be real,
because if i were real then surely i should feel.

i keep running back to my blades and letting my tears turn to blood,
i keep running back to the voices in  the dark telling me i don't belong and need to leave.

i don't think i want to stop running,
because when i stop running
the madness will end.