Tell me why my mind shuts down
and prepares itself for death
and the only thing I can think about it is
when it's going to happen
and the only thing I feel
are my tingly hands and my heart that
is about to jump out of my chest
and my tight muscles
and sweaty body
tell my why something I used to love
used to not think about as treacherous
becomes my downfall
tell me why my mind chooses to overthink
this yet not overthink anything else
and tell my why my mind shuts down
and the only thing I can think about is
how death doesn't sound that bad
and the only thing I feel
is this numbness
and foggy head
tell me why I fear death one day
yet the next I welcome the idea
tell me why
tell me why
tell me why
I am this way