Did you happen to notice
That last year Santa's sleigh
Was missing an important
Figure, by the way?

Let's see: Comet and *****
Along with Cupid and Prancer
Were there, and so were Donner,
Dasher, Blitzen, and Dancer.

Which reindeer was missing?
Rudolph? Ah, you guessed it.
The news was out there, but
The media had suppressed it.

(Because of frequent fog,
Santa was being sensible
In counting on dear Rudolph,
Who had become indispensable.)

It all started like this:
On the morning of Christmas Eve,
Rudolph was tired from having
Been on the qui vive

For sneaky present robbers
All the previous night.
By noon, poor ol' Rudolph
Looked a sorry sight.

To perk himself up a bit--
The "where" is still unclear--
He dipped into a little
Too much Christmas "cheer."

Now I don't know about you,
But Rudolph's nose would flicker
Whenever he drank wine
Or any other liquor.

When the team of reindeer
Lined up, Santa could tell
That sleigh-guiding Rudolph
Wasn't doing so well.

Needless to say, Santa
Really got a whiff
When he approached his friend
And took a little sniff.

"I can tell, dear Rudolph,
That you've been making merry.
Did you turn your eggnog
Into a Tom and Jerry?"

"I think--hiccup!--a little,"
Said Rudolph with a blush.
"Go to bed," said Santa.
"We are in a rush."

That night Santa was forced--
Although he felt remorseful--
To use toys with lights
To guide him. How resourceful!

So last year if the batteries
To your toys were run down,
Causing disappointment
And many a tear and frown,

Don't feel so sad.
They went to a good cause:
They helped to distribute
Gifts from Santa Claus.

Regarding this year, I
Don't want to keep you guessin':
Rudolph's back in service.
I think he learned his lesson.

But some say Santa's considering--
Despite objections and moans--
Future gift deliveries
With the use of Amazon's drones.

- by Bob B