It's the hardest thing to think about you. To miss your voice, your presence, your friendship, your trust, your honesty, your cruelty. Nothing hurts quite as much as losing you. Not my first heartbreak, not my innocence being ripped away from me. I can let go of so many things, you are not one of them.

You made a choice. And I respect you and the choices you make.

It was so hard at the start... When every lie and every truth and every ounce of pain was something I wanted to tell you about. You were my best friend, my confidante, my breath of air while I was drowning, my lifeline. Everything I wanted to live for was you. But I wasn't everything for you. I was a phase, a hopeless act, a temporary fix. You deemed me unworthy and in all honesty, it was how I was. It's how I am.

And I love you. I would have given up my life for you. I would have given up everything for you. And I did. I gave you up. I didn't fight. I didn't scream. I didn't get angry. All I could do was tell you that I love you. It still hurts. 18 months down the road and it still hurts as much as the very first day.