No camera flash
I might evaporate
When the other kids laugh
I can't commiserate
They don't know what I know
They don't go where I go

No winter dance
Another semester passed
My basketball
My sweaty palms
They're all flat
They're all flat

No report cards
Only hospital gowns
Crying fathers
My mother frowns
They don't see what I see
They don't feel how I feel

No mirrors
No websites
My fears hide
The dessert aisle
My social life
A desert isle

My health
Volatile
Myself
Scars and piles
Blinded by starlight
I faint on the car ride

Sixteen
In treatment since fourteen
Hide the scissors
Stash the razor
They make me feel so real
A five-pound loss sealed the deal

This nurse is nice
She makes me laugh
The others are lizards
They hunt in packs
She's been there
Tenth grade with thinned hair

She's been there
Missing the fresh air
She's been there
Confined to a wheelchair
She knows what I know
She sees what I see

Eighteen
I find recovery
No more treatment homes
No more holidays alone
No more hospital gowns
No more parental frowns

I write this letter
To all the winter girls
Struggling girls
Scar and shiver girls
I know what they know
I feel what they feel

Years death obsessed
All hunger suppressed
Splintered arms
Senseless harm
Seeking control
To calm your soul

I know how it feels
Hating recovery
Residential trips
Counting calories
Skipping meals
Fleeing from misery

I know how it feels
I've seen what you see
But i won't go back
I won't give in
Once a shivering winter girl
Now
I hope summer never ends

Step out from the cold
Embrace the warmth
Icicle girl
You deserve so much more