When I was little My mother bought me a tiny sailor suit Why? We didn't even live near the sea However She and grandma decided to take me to town To show me off in my new suit And so I was scrubbed up shiny My unruly hair was plastered to my head And proud smiles were exchanged But They must have looked away for a second Because the next thing they knew My sailor suit was stuffed down the toilet And I was doing a runner up the road Completely naked My first protest made