i’m not good at writing happy poems. my hands are clumsy and so, so scared—see, joy is a vast foreign light, spreading warmth through fingertips, skeletons, souls. and when, dear sky, was the last time i saw the dawn? even to close my eyes and ride on waves of slumber is a risk i fear to take—for what if when i wake, the sun and all his lullabies are gone? no, i can’t take another year in the dark. and if i do, if i do sleep, or rest or trust or hope— please, poem (although messy, crumbling, soft), keep the sun with me.