Somewhere along the road
Entrenched in newness, coming of age
Finding my way
That house that smelled a certain way
Or two
A ******* that occurred outside of my bedroom
The nights where I watched you leave
And go surreptitiously to the bed of the wrong man
I screamed and cried into my breakfast
Again and again
Like here I am stuck
Trapped in this pile of filth
My room was my only real solace.

And I'll look back at pictures now
See how my emotions and feelings have changed
Wonder and ponder
What changed and made it this way?

Its this overcoming feeling as if
A series of balloons filled with hot air
Circle in repetitive motions around me
I remember keeping my very blonde head down
Being lead through the crowd
My God how we did have fun.

And it doesn't all have to be over
I saw you go through so much
And you were really there for me
When no one else was
But as time wore on
I found myself drifting further and further
From those that saw it all go down.

Maybe its just my evolution
I'm not angry
Just on thin ice
Around you and your balloons of hot air
That voice a frenzy and yell eons
Of I want this
I want to be that
Here, there
Me me me me me me me me me
And as I've pushed back the leaves
To better comprehend this beast
I just cannot tell you
The relaxation that comes over me
As I walk into my own space
My own home
No interruptions
No scurrying feet behind me in the kitchen


I think you will grow
I know I am
You love to say dig deeper
So do.