Eight at night and the doorbell rang,
And THERE right before my face
Was a newspaper—almost touching my nose
And barely giving me breathing space.
 
“Here’s your free paper,” I heard a voice say.
I stepped back to read the name of the rag.
At once in my mind I realized that
The name of the paper had raised a red flag.
 
“Sorry, but I don’t read that one.
Anyway, thank you for your time,”
I said to the kid as I started to close
The door, but the kid blurted out, “I’m
 
Hoping that you’ll subscribe to my paper.
Sign up right here; you won’t regret it.”
I shook my head in amazement and said,
“Do you know what? I don’t get it:
 
“I just told you that I don’t read it,
So why would I want to buy a subscription?”
The frustrated kid refused to take NO
For an answer and started to have a conniption.
 
“BUT...just do it for me!” he cried.
“The more I sell, the better my luck
In winning a trip to Hawaii; what’s more,
I’m also trying to earn a buck.”
 
At THIS point I was the frustrated one.
I thought to myself, This guy’s too much!
He’s completely clueless; moreover, he’s acting
Like a son of a such and such!
 
“Good luck with your sales,” I politely said.
“But wait, I’ll wash your car!” he cried.
“I’ll mow your grass; I’ll trim your trees.”
“NO thanks, AND good-by,” I replied.
 
Exasperated he bellowed out,
“I need this sale to up my score!”
I calmly said, “This conversation
Is over,” as I closed the door.
 
I didn’t hear him walk away;
For all I know he could be there still
Pushing his paper, trying to earn
More points but actually scoring nil.
 
While the kid lacked tact and subtlety,
I doubt he’d ever take my advice.
A bit more sense would serve him well,
And a little less pushiness would suffice.
 
A future politician? I wondered.
Or maybe a future billionaire?
Whatever the case, he's got chutzpah,
I thought as I returned to my chair.

- by Bob B