I'm not sure
Maybe we are all just growing up
Or growing down
I can see circular yellow lights
Behind my blinds
And I came home a little depressed
Just none of it's the same.

I don't expect it to be
But it's just all such an uphill constant climb
My girlfriends here don't know how to talk to me
And I feel an anxiety when I spend time with them
Because they just don't get me
In a certain way

And it's tough right now
The world is evolving
I told my boyfriend my ideas are being made before I get to them
Everyone knows the market is changing

Here's how.

The left part of my head
Has been spazzing
Not enough sleep or rest
And I feel like I can't really complain
Because I'm just an ******* if I do
But ****.

I get to work
In my hours of what's supposed to be alone time
And it's not so much just a hyper focus
To the point I can't listen to those I love any longer

It's just that if I don't do it
It will never get done.

I'm so sick of everything meaning something
But no one says anything
Or if they do it's with such analytical eyes
All of them. All of them.
Wish I could
Just turn off my mind.

I'm really not sure
And the night was filled with lots of color
But she thought she could be honest
And tell me how much better looking than my boyfriend I am
And I'm not gonna be any less of her friend
But I told her that would be the thing
No matter what the thing
And we laughed
We did
But after
It made me sorta sad
I don't know why it's so hard sometimes
To try and just really feel content.

But
There is always a but
I do feel a little attacked these days
More on my guard
I think I'm just so tired
But I procrastinate on sleep

But I can't complain
Because so is everyone.