Excuse me m'am, I happen to be... A warden of the dog poo variety... As you walked along by me Your dog was seen to poo and ***. It's not allowed in such a place To show such scant regard for form and grace. It's not acceptable and not allowed. The charge for this is fifty pounds. Thank you. Good day.
Based on a true story of an impostor in Thanet, Kent, England who tried it on for a while.