I never should have said anything -
I should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn't.
The words were pulled out of me like an anchor hauled from choppy waters -
I had no choice when it came to if they were going to be revealed or not.

"Have you ever been suicidal?"
"Uh, yes."
"Are you currently suicidal?"
"Um. I don't really feel comfortable talking about it, to be honest."
"I'm going to make you an appointment with one of our crisis counselors. I think it would be a good idea..."

It's not funny at all to find yourself in an office with a person who genuinely believes they have the capabilities to fix you.
I know I want to die. I know nothing is going to change that.

I find it more saddening to sit across from a person who looks at you with false pity. They can't fix anyone and I know, deep down, they're waiting for me to leave.

I'm waiting for myself to leave, too. I should have just kept my mouth shut like I always do -
Never let it slip that you have the desire to be dead. What ensues afterwards is more humiliating than the moment you finally do **** yourself.