To live with a loss so great after times of month-long waiting invites such a natural rage in that a child, a babe of no age who was wanted and loved so much could die, and leave me in loneliest pain seems unbearably hard.
And if heaven was not making it plain that my dear baby now faces a state of tenderest peace, and that clutching him tightly in my place is an Eternal Love, touchingly singing his lullaby needs, I could not be carrying on.
God knows I must take this view of loss, see such ways as right, because if I did not I would go insane, but now I feel I can cope with waiting to see him again, by trying to stay sure he has not ceased to be, so please God, carry on helping me.