I don't know how to express these feelings I don't know how to express how badly I want to cry right now or how much the bugs are biting me I don't know how to express how wet the grass is or how long I feel I don't have I don't know how to express how many shots I've taken or how tonight was the first time that I've had so many cigarettes in one night I don't know how to express this party going on with all of my friends and how worried they are about me I don't know how to express how ******* alone I feel amongst this crowd of people who care so ******* much about me I don't know how to express anything that I'm feeling yet I say that I want to major in writing and journalism and I want to have a career that literally expresses how I'm feeling but I don't know how to express anything that I experience I don't know how to be friends with people I don't know how to be myself I don't know how to let people care about me I don't know how to socialize I don't know how to be twenty ******* two I don't know how to go places with ******* bug spray I don't know how to be prepared I have no idea who I am or who I want to be but I guess that all I am right now is a girl that cries at her best friends ******* parties and runs away to the front porch or into the backyard or around the corner to an empty field to ******* cry and feel pitiful about herself because her life's ******* pitiful but I must say I honestly really love being alone I just wish I had some bug spray