I haven't thought about him in a long time.
And it's not even that I miss him or still love him, at all.
It's that, I was supposed to outshine him.
I was supposed to be successful, making my own money, with a lot of friends.
I was supposed to find the love of my life and get married first and post it all over facebook and make him feel like I do now.
How did everything get so backwards?
How is he already getting married?
Why not me?
I want all of that. Happiness. A proposal. A wedding. Traveling. A nice house. A kid?
I pretend every day, that I think all of that is so over rated and that I'm too young, I have my whole life.
But, I really don't. I'm getting older every day and my life is going nowhere.
I'm running out of time and missing out on huge life moments.
Will I ever have a baby? Someone else that actually brings purpose to my life.
I'm beginning to think the answer is no.
And I have no purpose. I am here for no reason.