It's October 4th.
It's been about a week since I posted my last poem.
Which is kind of odd for me. I usually write almost every day.
But, I haven't been doing well lately.
My depression and anxiety are higher than ever.
In the last month I've lost more hair than in the last year.
I can't keep up with my bills.
I am barely able to feed myself.
I haven't been taking care of myself.
I need a hair cut, to clean my house, go to the dentist, get birth control pills.
My life is an actual mess.
When I'm not at work, I'm sleeping or stressing about where my next "meal" is going to come from.
I'm paying for everything for my boyfriend on an income that actually only barely supports one person.
He won't go get a real job, but I have to make sure I spend hundreds of dollars a month on **** so he can be happy staying at my house all day and night.
I keep hoping that once this year is over, that maybe. Just maybe. My life will turn around.
That this is just a rough patch. That it will end.
But.... Will it?