I might need professional help
Or is it normal when your belt
Suddenly break when u mis-calculate
Your weight while hanging yourself

Or attempting, which like my dad tells
"I can't do anything efficiently"
I fail at everything I do ambitiously
And my Consolation: ..consistency

So again my wrists'll bleed
But scar it  leaves is nothing more
All it is, is what was hid, in a kid wit
wrists like a cutting board does

But those attempts cause floods
And moms **** about the tub
And toilets staying clean, so out
Of respect I await the bus

That's late, so my date was
Post poned, so I guess preparation
To jump infront of a bus splattered
Then scattered like decoration

Failed makin me impatient,for expiration So to the subway station
I go , Hoping this time'll be,
the final scene Where my destination

Will send me violently on vacation
Where depression no longer says
I'm not a voice in your head,
I'm just a choice that was lead

By the appeal of being dead
&sto;; wishing someone would love
Who I am, instead of hatin who I was
No more feelin, im never good enough

But as I edge closer a dumb *****
Good Samaritan complex witnessed
The inception of my intentions
then Crept in my business

But sayin I want to jump which I didn't
They would lock me up in an instant
Without a shoe lace&like; I'm two faced I lied with persistence

That I wasn't gonna jump, and
Quickly left disappointed
Now having to re-schedule wit Death, and make a new appointment

So I brainstorm, and aim for
A place my blood will stain floors
After my blood from veins pour
About suicide I'm **** as gay ****

////////

I can't believe after all the time spent
thinking bout How to host
And envision The Idea that had risen
To help my transition into a ghost

But as my mom yelled from another
Room make sure the garage is closed
When u leave, it came to me
And all I needed was a hose

So I laughed and said don't worry
Mom when I leave I promise
The garage will closed, I swear on my life, God I'm funny, so once I wrote

A rather humorous suicide note
That read: "See mom just like I said
When I swore on my life, the garage would closed Before I left"

I think she'll get a laugh from that,
I thought as one end of the hose
Was inserted into the tail pipe of the
Car id turn on once I closed

The garage, and inserted the other end in the window, and yes
I don't recommend giving up like me but for me I guess

Saying Goodbye cruel world let's
Me escape depression and stress
So the broken heart in my chest
Finally gets much needed rest

But did I die with success
So I can say: yes: I finally did
succeed, at something, but if so
Dummy I wouldn't be writing u this