How long do I allow myself
To punish me with
The self hatred I inflict
For the bad choices I picked

Nightmares usually end
When the person who slept
Wakes up, but when life is full of
Spite from regret

Happiness stays inept
Unsure of How long its kept
The shame we frame with blame
Stays longer continuing to affect

Any positivity to help you heal
As u feel invaded
By insecurity, and degraded by the
perpetual manifested self hatred

The negativity, the doubt, the
feeling of trying to scream out
But the tyrant insisted on silence
Cuz I'm undeserving of help

When will I let myself melt
All the pain and sorrow
All I want is to be a better person
Than I am today ,...tomorrow

I can feel, like what I deal
And dealt with what erupted
To manifest an interrupted
Mind state more productive

Is it a choice to free myself
Is it me holding me back
If so, maybe my soul That's
Full of holes can adapt

So I will promise to be honest
To myself and be true
Sometimes the biggest obstacle
You face in life is you ...