How many times do I have to feel like this? Isn't time supposed to heal all wounds? It's been 15 years and I'm an hour away from the house you died in. I still see your corpse with perfect clarity when that tragic moment decides to replay in my mind. I remember holding your lifeless hand crying so hard I couldn't breath. I remember the paramedics forcefully removing my hand from yours as I screamed so loud I couldn't speak for days. I remember as my brother and I clung to each other like a vice regardless of how much we hated each other. I remember crawling under my bed and refusing to eat or do anything for days. I still can remember the feeling of your cold hand. I just wish I could remember you without that moment playing in my head. Because instead of remembering your beautiful smile and boundless love, I am haunted by your lifeless eyes and your cold unresponding hand. Time doesn't heal ****. It just makes it harder to remember the love you made me feel, the confidence you instilled in me, and the lessons I learned from you. I love you and I miss you beyond what words are capable of communicating.