London England*


I am old now
old and tired the music Hall is fading
old clowns in baggy pants don't seem funny anymore.
The flickering silver light of the cinema
was growing brighter almost everyday.
My days are over playing for Victoria  Empress of Britain .
My whole life vanished like it never happened so meaningless.

I am alone never married, the stage is a wife I suppose.
No wife to turn to  I turn to the bottle
she puts me to sleep numbs my soul.
Old Jack the doorman at the Gaiety in London.
He lets me in for free every night to watch the Music Hall artist.
There not like you were sir --he still calls me sir.

A  juggler, a singer,a magician,a comedian, and showgirls.
And  oh yes A ballet dancer.she is so young and beautiful
I think I come here just to see her.
If I had not found the bouquet of flowers
in the entrance, she would be dead now.
I watched her dance so talented like an Angel in flight
on gossamer wings.I am far too old for her of course
but I cannot help but be drawn to her outstanding talent.
And her beauty if truth be known.

I take the flowers to her dressing room and knock on the door.
There is a moan from inside a low painful moan.
I take a deep breath and open the door
she is laying on the floor an empty vial of something  
I had seen this before the stage carries many dark secrets.
I found a box of salt and poured it into a glass of water
then poured it down her throat
At first, I thought I was too late.
then the salts caused her to throw up the poison.

She lay on the sofa and slept I never left her side.
After a few hours, she said I cannot move my legs
I carried her to my old room and placed her in bed.
I no longer can dance she cried my legs are paralyzed she cried.

I made her tea and a sandwich.
We are a great pair you andI.
A dancer who cant dance
and a comedian whocant make people laugh.

There was no money for a doctor
but I had her trying to walk every day.
After, a few months she walked again
Slowly at first then stronger day by day.
I brought out her dance outfit ballet shoes.

Old Jack let us in to use the Gaiety stage as her dance floor.
I felt so ashamed that I was so in love with her.
But I think in the chest of every comedian
lies a fragile tender heart that is so easily bruised.

A few weeks later she was dancing again
and then moved away to follow her career.
I was desolate
I returned to the bottle.
Then a catalysmic event brought us together
Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated at Sarajevo.
On the 4th of August 1914,
Great Britain declared war on Germany.

A group of performers were chosen
to form an entertainment group for the troops.
She was amongst them
and refused to participate if they did not select me.
Under duress, they agreed and the first performance was in London.

I went on and gave the performance of my life.
The soldiers roared in laughter
my heart filled to the brim with happiness.
I then watched from the wings as she danced so beautifully
My eyes were wet with both happiness and sadness so bittersweet.
Around and around she would pirouette.
Like a dream-like a beautiful dream.

My mind was  spinning in harmony with her movements.
if only I was twenty-five again.
if only I could have been with her.
if only I did not love her
quiet so much.
....if only .....if only.

The crowd roared for her a complete standing ovation
they were almost the last words I would hear.
As I clutched my breast
and fell onto the floor she rushed to me
and kissed me on the head
stay with me, stay with me
I love you so much she whispered.

But I slipped quietly into the dark unknown
happy and content to go there.
I finally knew
she had loved me as far as it is possible
given the circumstances that is.