Father, As The conclusions of illusions scurry thu my mind, All the misconception of oppression I leave behind. The pulsating, throbbing strains viciously attacks my brain, Ugh Migraine. I fall to my knees, begging Yah, "Please, heal me of this chest pain." Let my cries and prayers be not in vain. Father I need you to be like my Novocaine and numb the pain, help me maintain, Father Be my Mid and Forebrain before I go insane! Now I'm not one to sit here and ramble on. Father I've tried reading the gospel according to John, But the that passion, fire and desire that I once had is gone. I miss that Spiritual atmospheric phenomenon. It helped me to hold on and keep on keeping on. Despite how many times I fall Or when I get angry because I feel like you didn't answer my call Here you are Loving me With my Imperfections, flaws and all. Yes I have been beaten and battered and even my hopes and dreams have been shattered. But that's the beautiful thing when it comes to the heart of matter. From that staggered disaster you gathered pieces of laughter splattered in a pattern and created a masterpiece of a platter! I'm trying to get an Understanding of why you love me the way you do. All the persecutions, hardships, and suffering I experience in my life times two. Even the times when I had thought about giving up and was lost without a clue. You said, "Not so my child, For have not given up on you! Remember I myself experienced those very same things you went thru. My Word says, I will never leave you nor forsake you no matter what you do." That's when the decision hit me like a crash collision, like a precisian with exceptional Vision. No longer will I be paralyzed Or wallow in my fleshly demise. But Yet will I get up and rise, keep my focus on the prize And walk in the counsel of the Wise. After much concentration and heavy meditation, Father our conversation led to Consolation. I know I can no longer wait. My flesh must I Eliminate. My mental and Spiritual state I Shall evaluate and Rehabilitate. Father for all you do, I value it much and appreciate, Especially loving me at my worst state.