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Feb 2012
Daddy, I’m sorry!
All I ever wanted was to make you proud
But at the time it sounded like
The loudest voice was the crowds!
I left my virginity on the back seat of your car,
That night you went out.
And he told me that if I loved him
I’d go down.
So I did it.
I let him drive me insane
I did everything he wanted me to
Until he came, then pain came. Then shame came.
I did it and I wanted to tell you before
But I didn’t know how,
I’m sorry dad.
I’m still a child, I can’t be a mom!
I still have dreams of graduating and going to prom!
You know the girl with the big belly never wins prom queen.
And I can’t do this without him.
I thought he loved me. He said he loved me!
But what do I know about love?
I’m a just little girl and he just too old!
Your little girl, your baby girl.
Daddy! What am I supposed to do?
Adoption or abortion?
Neither of them sounds like a life option!
Daddy, I’m sorry.
I never pictured my future this way.
In my dreams we’d both be happy
Somewhere else far away,
But in reality life feels worse
Than my worst nightmares.
I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
But I couldn’t look you in the eyes any more.
I had to runaway and find something worth living for.
Although all the stupid things I’ve done,
Besides the wrong path I choose,
I’m still daddy’s little girl.
And I’m sorry.
People say I’m a *****,
They don’t know my story!
They don’t even want to know
Where I come from!
I do drugs not because I feel worthless,
But because I need something to ****
The pain of sleeping with someone else’s husband,
Brother, cousin... father!
Because I am someone’s daughter!
Maybe a *******, a failure, a drugs addict.
But at the end of the day I’m still your daughter.
Daddy, all I ever wanted was to see you proud!
To see that smile of yours you had when I was a child
And you would spin me all around!
So forgive me father,
For leaving town,
For giving up on the prom crown,
For failing in life somehow
Eliana Nzualo
Written by
Eliana Nzualo
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