A long time ago, you asked me what I was going to miss about this place
And I couldn't answer
I hid behind my tears

These words you may never know, but they are the truth and so they must be told somewhere

I'm going to miss puting my arms around you and the echoes of our solidarity ringing out into the night

I'm going to miss the confidence of being right for something, for once

I'm even going to miss the walk to the field, the goose noises, and the annoying little kids at the football games

I'm going to miss performing with you two, the way the field looks under the lights, the way it feels to become part of the music, and to share that with your best friends

I'm going to miss staying late and leaving early, looking out for everyone and being looked up to, miss being a leader

I'm going to miss having you, coaches who were willing to push, who promised not to go anywhere and stayed, who believed and took us to where we wanted to be

But I couldn't say any of these when you asked because they are not all that is behind my tears

I broke when this place crumbled- permanently, for good

I threw myself into restoring what I loved, working off a vision of what never really was

And I made it happen

But in doing so, this place, built with my blood as mortor and my bones as brick, this place stole a chunk of my heart

We are inseparable but moving on

And so when you see me cry, a lot of it is sadness as you may expect

I don't want to leave.

But the truth is for all the things I lost here and all the things I gave, for the experience I won't have but you will


Some of this is pain.