I'm happy today
I'm excited
I'm antsy
I'm looking forward to the future

But I'm also afraid
Nervous
Cautious

But my fears are hidden
You can't see them
Because I have a front
So indestructible
That sometimes
I even believe it

Today is filled
With false security
Because one word
Movement
Action
Could tear me apart

But I feel happy
I feel good

Is it a lie?
Am I really okay today?
Or is it a convincing front
that even I believe?

Is this false security?
I feel pretty today
When every other day I know I'm not
I feel like dancing today
When every other day I can't move
I feel like screaming out of joy
When every other day I can hardly speak

Is this real?
Or false security?
Why am I so afraid....

To be happy?