Aching bones n bladder stones
are signs of gettin old,
missing teeth n droopin beef
two more,, or so i'm told.

Hairy backs n saggy sacks
afflictions of old men,
havin rants n ****** pants
happen now n then,

My gut is sagging more n more
it's dragging on the floor,
my ******* are banging on my knees
my armpits smell like cheese,

My teeth they sleep within a glass
upon my bedside table,
and as for giving girls a thrill
I find I’m quite unable,

She's left all disappointed,
with a grimace and a frown,
all because my pecker,,,
stays soft and pointing down,

But don't think that I’m unhappy
after everything I said,
I intend to laugh my **** off
coz I’ll soon be feckin dead,