So I was in New York City
and I was depressed,
not because I was such a success
and had so much money,
but because the stress
that was on me
was so unbearable
that I wanted to die,
so I stepped inside
the front door
of the Empire State Building
and climbed every flight of stairs
up to the top
where I walked over
to the edge
and knew this was my time
and I executed
a perfect swan dive
off the roof,
but then, as soon as I was flying
I decided that actually
I wanted to stay alive,
that I had a lot to live for,
so in a panic
I cried out
to the Great Fairy Godmother Savior In The Sky
to save me,
and instantly
a feeling came over me
that I had to throw up,
so, puking,
up came two shiny metal springs
which I attached to the top of my head
and then I hit the sidewalk and
BOING
up I bounced
all the way up
to the top of the Empire State Building,
where in a gentle arc
I landed,
and was so happy
that I began to laugh
and the laughter became more and more
uncontrollable,
so much so
that I fell over on to my back
where I had
a heart attack
and died,
so the moral is -
"Somethins Gonna *** Ya".