I taught myself
how to open my eyes
underwater
so I could see
without assistance
what others could not

My wide open eyes
and screaming self-talk
were not enough
to get under
the chlorine surface

It wasn't until
I shut my lids tight
that I was able
to finally see

Diving deep in the dark
I awoke to find
a blurred blue-green vision
of plastic rings
and painted toes

I'm no longer afraid
of closing my eyes
when I so badly
want them open

I look around
when I reach the bottom
exhaling out thought bubbles
popping clearly through
muted waves