Aug 2016
THE I.C.U. SMART BED
In the intensive care unit
I got my first, Smart Bed
Worth sixty thousand dollars
At least that’s what they said
This bed could move
This bed could talk
This bed could sing
This bed could rock
It was so advanced
It dispensed my medications
Displayed all my vitals
And their fluctuations
If I hummed a tune
I don’t know how it guessed
But it would always, somehow
The right song, finesse
This made me apprehensive
To myself express
For even if I sneezed
It would say, “God Bless”
It could measure temperature
And also what you weigh
Give you, a heads up
And the time of day
It could tilt and lift
Had settings to vibrate
And each of those vibrations
It could modulate
If I couldn’t sleep
Or if I tossed and turned
It would start to rock me
This at night I learned
To get into a rhythm
Became the nightly trick
Cause if you weren’t in sync
You would get sea sick
And waking up
Became a rousing charm
First the soft, sweet music
Then that ******* alarm
If I was sad
It read my mood
Then cheered me up
Dispensed snack food
And if by chance
I blew a ****
It printed out
An air flow chart
The mattress was
Just full of air
With all these pockets
Everywhere
If I sat down
It receded
Then puffed back up
As I needed
For with a move
Of any sort
It was right there
To give support
And when I lay
But did not move
It seemed to fill
My every groove
So when I sat
To have my snack
It spread my cheeks
Then filled my crack
But when I had to poo
A hole would open up
Just big enough in size
For my **** to drop
When I was done my movement
It gently washed and dried
Quite the nice experience
I really was surprised
But, my biggest thrill
Was when I had to ***
Oh, what it could do for women
If it so pleasured me
This suction tube extended
And did my prostrate meet
Then, attached right to it
Like a Bovines ****
It ****** out all the *****
Now that was quite a trip
And then it took a pause
Awaiting that last drip
So, I was quite upset
When, they rudely me dispatched
For I was by then, to it
Very much attached
But, before I left that room
I cannot tell a lie
I gave my bed a hug
And it told me “Goodbye”
BOEMS BY JA 273
Written in hospital 2014
In the intensive care unit
I got my first, Smart Bed
Worth sixty thousand dollars
At least that’s what they said
This bed could move
This bed could talk
This bed could sing
This bed could rock
It was so advanced
It dispensed my medications
Displayed all my vitals
And their fluctuations
If I hummed a tune
I don’t know how it guessed
But it would always, somehow
The right song, finesse
This made me apprehensive
To myself express
For even if I sneezed
It would say, “God Bless”
It could measure temperature
And also what you weigh
Give you, a heads up
And the time of day
It could tilt and lift
Had settings to vibrate
And each of those vibrations
It could modulate
If I couldn’t sleep
Or if I tossed and turned
It would start to rock me
This at night I learned
To get into a rhythm
Became the nightly trick
Cause if you weren’t in sync
You would get sea sick
And waking up
Became a rousing charm
First the soft, sweet music
Then that ******* alarm
If I was sad
It read my mood
Then cheered me up
Dispensed snack food
And if by chance
I blew a ****
It printed out
An air flow chart
The mattress was
Just full of air
With all these pockets
Everywhere
If I sat down
It receded
Then puffed back up
As I needed
For with a move
Of any sort
It was right there
To give support
And when I lay
But did not move
It seemed to fill
My every groove
So when I sat
To have my snack
It spread my cheeks
Then filled my crack
But when I had to poo
A hole would open up
Just big enough in size
For my **** to drop
When I was done my movement
It gently washed and dried
Quite the nice experience
I really was surprised
But, my biggest thrill
Was when I had to ***
Oh, what it could do for women
If it so pleasured me
This suction tube extended
And did my prostrate meet
Then, attached right to it
Like a Bovines ****
It ****** out all the *****
Now that was quite a trip
And then it took a pause
Awaiting that last drip
So, I was quite upset
When, they rudely me dispatched
For I was by then, to it
Very much attached
But, before I left that room
I cannot tell a lie
I gave my bed a hug
And it told me “Goodbye”
BOEMS BY JA 273
Written in hospital 2014
