You must be jealous
Of my ability
To control my stream
Like a laser beam

You must be miffed
That I can scratch
As casually as my back
My holy sack

There must be envy
When, in the snow,
I write in cursive
My name in yellow

I must be mean
If I aim at you
Or maybe it's a blessing
Either way, they're just shoes

I usually sit
But I'm no lady
Call me crazy,
I'm just lazy



Just be glad
When you're aroused
You can walk around
Without walking funny,
hunny