'****!'

That's what it sounds like in my mind
when people disappear;
when you no longer get to see them
you no longer get to know them
because you no longer exist to them.

'****!'
Like magic.
A great Houdini act.
Black magic.
Witchcraft.

'****!'
In that puff of smoke
that billow and wisp and dissipate
before my mind's eye
I see the strands snap, one by one, in the heat.

My thoughts race through galaxies
at a speed to beat sunlight from reaching the earth first.

'Was it easy to just disappear?'

'Just like that?'

'Why?'

'What did I do wrong?'

'Why is it always me?'

'Was I not worth at least word?

Not even the effort of a breath?'

I used to think that that all had mattered,
that I wanted all those important answers
to all those petty questions
until I realized that it might be too late...

I froze in horror at the smell of smoke
of a fire that had been spreading,
crashing down all around me
in waves of liquid fire
that looked cool as ice.

My bridges were burning.

I didn't know I had lit a torch.