A fly tickles my ribcage
Out in the half rain
I postpone the cigarette
Remember to eat

A stormfront of thoughts hovering near
Precarious and portending events
I sweep up in denial until the mirror breaks

I take better care not to fall back again
I take better care of myself now than I did then
But still it comes around as if reminding me
And my normalness is at stake

Even though I probably never was
I'd like to think I am
Just as normal as you all

I'm waiting here semi-passively
My chains of fear still binding me
Stuck between choosing the future that I want
and the things I'll have to face to make it so

All the while wondering where I did go