my mind is at the boarder of two places at once.
one half twists and writhes like smoke in a glass,
the other is still and rigid and heavy.
i walk alone under a canopy of cornstalks
smelling my childhood,
bewildered by the way i've changed.
it feels as though i've been shifted to the left, just a few inches.
nothing looks the same
even though it's just like i remember it.
all i seem to do is wish for things the way they were.
i can't remember how to love anything other than dreams and faux realities.
i can never have my only desire
as long as i keep killing my own ambition.
i can't figure out how to feel anymore,
still just learning how to hide from the connection.