if my mouth
were ever to breathe
out
towards another
it would be yours

for all those words you say
i can only just hope
your mouth would follow through

but who knows when every other minute
is silence
and uncertainty

and, nowadays
mouths are only meant to be covered

what an incredible thing it is to be a human being
to hear music and to understand
the labyrinth of emotion behind it
to know and desire to create more life
to use the unknown power within your body
to see a tree
to see a tree and come to terms with what it takes for that tree to live
what an incredible thing it is to be a tree

my ***
is like hearing a song for the first time
unsure, unexpected
my body
soft, but strong
the most feminine i could possibly be

You love him,
you do,
and here's the miracle:
he loves you too.
You are allowed
to lick off the color from his lips,
to listen to the hymns in his pulse,
to bask in the sunlight of his voice,

You are allowed
to have him.

You love each other,
you do,
and here's the tragedy:
it's not enough.
You are allowed
to watch the sun swallow him whole and burn him up,
to stain your fingers to the bone holding him together,
to count the constellations in his eyes as they blink out,

You are not allowed
to save him.

I am nowhere near the ocean, yet
salt water stains my cheeks and
it's only because I'm afraid to
know why you evaporated into the air
like the smoke that rolls over my lips as
they ache to be used for
memorizing the way the salt on
your skin tastes.

You were the red star the sky gave to me
after I begged for your voice to come back-
darker than the sun and further
away
A piece of the oldest part of my heart

I'm pushing my hand
into my wild chest
as hard as I can push
as it flutters under my fingers
so that you might feel
how tightly I need to be
against you
how deeply I've drown
in the flood of your eyes
and in the shivering
of the leaves
all I hear is my name
on your voice

five times five
plus hours of searching
for hiding spots
plus hours of pining like a schoolgirl
to songs you played for me

seven days since
plus hours of listening
to the very muses
inspiring the chemicals
in my brain
to hear you tell me
I'm your dream girl
and I should have known it

148,920 hours
since you touched my hair
or looked at me at all
and today you tell me
you see me every day
and more

I never understood how much that time has mattered
until you
couldn't keep it to yourself
anymore