A seeker of higher meaning
And a wannabe demon
What unites us?
The strange empty feeling
Nothing really
Something about the hardship of staying
Discrepancy between going higher
Or falling lower into
Dark as a pit in the belly of the void
That feeling you cannot escape
Smirking tickling uncomfortably
Squinting as I try to look into its colors
Seeking something to drive away
Overwhelmed panicky lack of sense
To feel complete content and concrete
What do I need?
Perhaps some presence perhaps a breath
Warmth or consolation
Perhaps some kind of heaven
Perhaps a gentle warmth of ****** tide
Or the volcano at the bottom of the spine
Anything is
Never enough or else pointless...
The deep well of chaotic darkness
Penetrates the vision
It's in the color of blindness
In oblivion of madness
In the dark starvation
The ever present dementors' chorus
Frustrated vibration getting the better
Of me of you of the kid who starts the war
Inside his mind inside her heart
Between the legs and within the
Ever leaking grip that cannot contain
All there is to possess
Now inside out
Splattered seeds of distraction and devotion
Striving starvation eager to be filled
By the crispness of green
The redness of alive
Numerous eyes stroking along the length
Of the ego's handle
The kind of pit... food will rot first
Before reaching the bottom
The kind of void oozing odors
Of unfulfilled and fallen
Or desperately giving to avoid
The emptiness of the void
And from that pit I draw the breath
And on the long exhalation I look
OUT
Into the world reflecting the light
Of the ever exploding
Surrounded by texture
Cradling this smallness of a body
And I put the first line on
The smooth white surface
As if a question
And the answer will poor out
Not through the answerless limitations of the mind
But through the hand
Holding this pencil