I wasn't strong, my knees were weakened by the addiction that feeds  my forsaken life..

To be a amazing person with the ability to overcome it and show the world I'm different then the rest...
To bad so sad I failed the test.

My addiction never fooled ANYONE
I had no idea how strong of a grasp it had on my soul, it took the innocence
And left a big hole.

To think I would  be just fine
That it wouldn't
been blawing my eyes out
Because I lost months of my life..

Disappeared in the blink of an eye..
Wrong of me to think that I would be an exception.

Now this battlefield in my life
A wrecking ball with cracking frames, writhing dreams,
Shattered hopes,
Devastated CRYS
And don't forget guilt ridden
Thoughts separated family
Children with unanswered questions
And fears that **** the soul
For I can't let them know
I chose to not try
And now..
2YEARS LATER I WANT TO SHOW THEM MOMMYS GONNA NOT FAIL
BUT TOO LATE ..
I BAILED
And failed my sweet babies sooo extremely much
---
A few thoughts of suicide entered my brain but that won't solve a thing

So I have 13 years I have to miss of the memories I can't have  but with time .

I can ensure my life will be on the right track
When their 18 with a head on their shoulders. . My chance to be the mother I was supposed  to be
Will be at my feet!

For now its only hopes in my dreams