Dear Anorexia, you told me you would be my friend. You promised thinness, happiness and you promised you wouldn’t leave.
You didn’t leave, you were my shadow.
You told me what I was allowed to eat.
You made me cry, you made me lose everything.
I felt numb, it felt like I was high.
When I walked I felt like I was floating on a cloud unaware of my surroundings.
Cutting myself the only time I felt alive.
I was told my fear of food may never go away, I was told my family may never trust me again.
My mind isn’t my own.
I worry about being lonely without you, sometimes I go full minutes without thinking about food that’s when I feel the most incomplete.
My voice was taken I couldn’t speak, without asking you if it was ok.
Toilets, mirrors, knifes, and razors are my friends.
You are my friend aren’t you Anorexia?