Today was the day I broke down and cried
Uncontrollable howling sobs from the very pit of my soul
Helpless and forlorn, not knowing how to make it stop
Just had to ride the wave and let it  take its toll

I hadn't cried for twenty years and never in front of my brood
It wasn't what I wanted or what I thought was right
But today was the day that it erupted from me
Emotions too powerful to fight

Driving the car, my family with me
We passed a shrine on the side of the road
Carefully manicured square yard of grass
With angels and scripture and candles that glowed

I felt the cold sweat rise as I realised what it was
a sweet young girl from just along the street
A friend of the family, the same age as one of mine
A talented artist, charmed all she'd meet

She died in a car crash a couple of weeks before
I was shocked by the news, a terrible waste
I guess my family has been lucky so far
And something like this I hadn't faced

The wife and the two eldest went to the funeral
While I sat in with the young one
Paying their respects at the church and reception
As I tried not to think of the pain of her mum

A lady I knew from when we were young
A connection that made the pain keener
But I kept my emotions in check that day
Upholding a solemn demeanour

But the shock as I realised it was her shrine that day
Made me lower my guard and allow me to taste
The pain of her mother, the acid and bile
As she tended that spot, sobbing, such a waste

The anger, the rage, the where and the why
The questions, the impotence, the need to understand
Could she carry on, was anything worth it now?
Why had awful fate dealt her this hideous hand?

An ever increasing circle of anguish
Coursed through my mind as I travelled
Until I could swallow it no more and gave way
As my sanity unravelled

My head in my hands, my face contorted with grief
My shoulders rocking, howls escaping my throat
What must my family be thinking of me
As I lost it and sobbed in my coat

My wife sat there looking embarrassed
We were never the same again
I felt that I had shown her a weakness
My machismo was all in vain

I cry much easier these days it seems
As though I'd breached the floodgates
The only comfort I get from that
Was it wasn't in front of my mates

I don't know if I am emotionally *******
Or it's just that I've been graced
With good health for me and my closest kin
My mortality has never been faced

But as I get older I have to come to terms
With aging parents, in-laws and all that entails
I wonder how I'll cope when I see those close to me
Breaking down in tears, the cries and the wails

All I can ask is that parent goes before child
As eventually go we all must
And hope to have led a full, happy life
Before we all turn to dust