Why don’t they simply create a new branch And call it the Doped Olympics? By the laws of semantics It soon would come into the language, legitimized: Youth forgets past. Soon the word would have lost its original shame, While the name of the game Would be guilt-free and blame-free Free, and those who would qualify Could have drug freedom, build muscles defined, And have bodies divine. If they dropped dead at forty At least they’d have entertained millions, Fulfilled their ambitions, Made lots of folk rich And set records untold. Let those few or those many spend hours in training; Let chemists develop concoctions so new That the pole-vaulter flies, And the sprinter’s a jaguar, The shot put is sent into orbits of space, The long jumper jumps twenty meters While men become fierce And the women grow beards, Which gives all of the chemists new projects to work on. A yes to the ***** Doped Games.