With, ADHD
You don't really get quiet moments.
Every sleepover I'm the last to fall asleep because I'm too hyper or I don't feel prepared and even if I'm exhausted I just have to get that song out of my head
When class is boring that's the WORST
I start to think of him
And what we could be
And how much I love him
But later I'll talk to him
And feel a pit of hurt in my heart
It's a contradiction I can't confront
Because I've already thought about every outcome and none is good.
ADHD is almost a type of anxiety
I can't
Stop
Thinking
At lunch time people beg and tell saying "WANT A CHAIR?"
I said "YEAH BUT I CAN'T SIT DOWN."
they laugh as if I was joking.
I feel the need to constantly be moving, constantly speaking
Because I've already found out, everyone wants to meet the funny guy.
I will be so tired I can't keep my head up after school but in my thoughts I am chasing after endless answers and questions to entertain who's next to me in hopes to make a good impression
Even if we talk
Everyday.
It's good to know I'm always hyper and have something to do but
Horrible to know
I will
NEVER
Be normal. Think normal, move normal, I take normal as boring and I definitely won't train myself to be that way.
Having ADHD ruins me but at the same time, keeps me from the rest and I don't know which is worst or which is best.