you don't know it...

But I can't
I just cannot rip out pages from my journal
you do not understand

The only thing you understand is...

you don't understand
you two see it as a negative
you see it's dark
I see it as art

I don't get how it is negative
I cannot draw and just
keep my mouth closed

You don't understand how this
helps me
makes me;
me

You did not ask
You told me:
  Go rip out all the negative
  and if you can't figure it out
  come back and I'll show you

You asked me something that
I AM INCAPABLE of
you don't know it...

I love it...

It's my therepist

The only thing you understand is...

is that I have talent
that i'm good at drawing
But you say

you say to use it in a different way
Well what is different to you
because I sure don't know

You don't understand why I draw
but here is the thing
I don't see my drawings as dark
as negative
as  gruesome

I see it as apart of me
something that I cannot do

You said:
  rip out the negative

I heard:
tear yourself apart

It may seem silly
"it's just a journal"
But my "it's just a" journal
is so much more

I love it

she says draw flowers
draw a house
don't draw that
that's creepy

what she doesn't understand
is that she doesn't know how to draw
how to draw a house
a house with "pretty" flowers

She only understands how to write feelings
they come out as pictures
pictures turn into words

her words are poetry
her words are a song
her words
ARE HER

they help her control what she doesn't understand
What she is still learning

She only knows "dark" flowers
they help her with
what she can't speak

(n) a love for rain; someone
who finds joy and peace of mind
     during rainy days

to find peace in the rain
is like finding peace in the mind
where it is my escape
my escape to think straight (for once)
For once to feel the joy of peace and smile brightly
to smile brightly on a gloomy mild day

While others get migraines and whish the sun was out
I wish that this peace will last
and the sun comes out
I have peace until my next tragedy

STOP! stop blaming me
IT's Not Me
   IT's You
Have you ever thought that maybe, Just Maybe that it is actually BECAUSE of You
That you were the cause
the cause of Why
Why I act like this
Why I don't listen
Why I ignore
Why I defy
All of this is Your fault