Here we go again with the days I don't eat at all
I'm starting to repeat my words over and over
except not in my sleep, 'cause I can't seem to shut my eyes
only when the stars and melatonin are in agreement,
but it doesn't matter because I'm having nightmares again
except my eyes are open and I'm not dreaming
my skin is actually red and bleeding
my hands are actually shaking
this is reality and it's terrifying

I think I'm repeating how I was a few years ago,
This time, I have people closer to me,
I have people at my work to find comfort in
I could probably let my mother know,
but I'd rather talk about my financial condition than my mental state

I never figured out what it meant to do
"soul searching"
I always found it just fine at 3 in the morning
because that's the only time everything poisons my mind
that's the only time i can feel anything
I just can't seem to feel truly alive anymore