oh don't get me wrong, i loved Midnight in Paris,
but with this latest movie i realised
the technique he was using, like someone reading
from a book in a bookshop -
and with every film i ever saw by Woody Allen
i just had one plot line running through my head:
a Jew looking for Auschwitz -
i bet there's a whole bunch of them feeling they missed
out on something grand like paying the gas bill,
and true to the word, the ones who have will
be stoic and silent, while the ones who haven't will
start a queue of mouthing everyone off;
is that short for ceramic marionettes or snowflakes
or something? you ain't made from sugar, go
run in the rain, you ain't gonna melt;
now, is that short of a straitjacket? i was gambling on
banking in my air miles by now - if i was born
on an aeroplane in the 1980s i'd have a U.N. passport;
citizen transcendental, ethnicity: helium.
i preferred the Woody Allan choke though, about
how each of his films have the plot: a Jew looking for
Auschwitz; i should really write a petition to the Polish
parliament about shifting that dung-heap of bricks to
Germany or Israel or something, i don't mind
the Malbork castle, that ****-pile can stay -
but can these chimneys be moved elsewhere, i'm getting
this itchy cockroach feeling Poland will have it
******* advertising tourism if it's only Jews that come
here to only one place, and nowhere else,
on memorial day...
i mean, Czechs have Prague, the Hungarians have the Danube...
it seems the only fascinating thing about Poland is
the former capital of Israel, Auschwitz - well thank
**** we have the Dead Sea and the scrolls or i'd
never imagine why i'd pity Jesus and not Isiah prior -
disembowelled, cut in half... hello?!
- and that great Tel Aviv chandelier sprout -
or that thing in the desert we call the shopping mall -
Dubai, that's the one - get a camels' teeth necklace
all year round - and a free ****** massage by another
set of camels, free of charge - ooh gucci gucci goo,
look at those fluffy lips... can imagine just dunking a
leprechaun right in there for a *** of pearls.