I used to choke on those words like bile Stinging my stomach like acid on flower petals And he was there Eyes lit from a cigarette stolen from his father And my favorite lighter But I didn't even need that flame to feel so hot Blood boiling and palms ablaze And I've read stories of what love is supposed to feel like A punch to the face A bee sting on your heart We had that We had it in the sense that my hatred for your grin spiraled out of control every night Was this what love was supposed to feel like? Like pouring my soul into the dirt? You were this dark thing I kept hidden under blankets Failed attempts of keeping your drunken gaze off of my collarbones Always willing to bite Never wanting to hold me after you've taken all you need from my neck
I've told you about him My sad excuse for a pair of hearts And you listen You always listen And when I'm with you I feel so calm Dancing under street lamps at 4 AM while I keep pushing our goodbye back further And further And further Until both our eyes are deep heather and we yawn between kisses against the fence You make me feel like I'm home And I'll curse anyone who ever tries to tell a girl that love is something otherworldly That she should be fighting battles constantly with her ocean boy in an attempt not to sink With you I don't even worry I'll drown I can breathe underwater now Swimming lazily through your kind words Where everyday feels like Saturday afternoons in June I can say those words all the time now I love you I love you I love you No longer coughing on them like something caught in my throat Never again regretting every touch you think I won't notice Every whisper I pretend not to hear Because in the dark he held me as if I was going to leave I had no choice He had seven hearts scattered in his body Torn pieces from previous heartbreak and broken promises And he didn't love me He loved someone breathing next to him in case he didn't want to anymore I was anchored to him His constant reminder that there was someone there
You're so different I can't describe it When you kiss me I don't even want to pull away except maybe to peek at your green eyes for just a second You laugh at stupid things and you put so much thought into everything Like I used to do for him with no avail Like I do now for you And I feel every misplaced hand needs an explanation And the words I choke on always have stories deeper than most would associate But everyday I am set to show you how much you mean to me
And I know one day we'll live together Singing along to wolf howl melodies every full moon Long walks getting lost in concrete jungles I miss you already And I've never missed someone so much that even an echo of your name will plummet me deeper into heartache I don't know why I'm so distressed when I know I'll return to you Your arms outstretched as a welcome Your smile just as bright And I'll melt inside at the way your nose will scrunch up when you laugh at my stupid jokes And in the dead of night in my constant attempt to get closer to you it will hit me Not like a ton of bricks Not like a freight train But like the spark of skin when it brushes up against another hand Like not realizing that there's a ladybug on your thigh until you see it And then it's legs are the only thing you feel Like coming home and finally realizing what it's like to sink into someone and feel loved