“Oh good you are here!”
The child was was being scolded when I walked in
“can you tell him why he should not use the N word?”
Can I get time and a half
Actually can I get worker’s comp?
Do you mind if I put my jacket down first
and my coffee
“It keeps repeating in my head”
the white kid says with his thumb in his mouth
smiling to the side in some spaced out ecstasy
the child enjoying the power he has gained in this interaction
My entrance into the school interrupted
Ok so I explained what the word actually means and what it came to mean
why it hurts me
the nightmares of my father being tortured by peers in school and their families and friends
Confederate flag molotovs
I would put under their beds
the resting place of this putrid confidence
the one that they call now
reality that is the future already when they say now
and the future is at first now before it is already the past
you cannot just open your ****** mouth and describe the future
and look at me with expectations
as if I don’t notice how far gone into the past
you have become in your communication
and in doing this
a defense and assumption of white supremacy being the generator of value
but experience of being human is most valuable
whiteness is inorganic