looking into your eyes for the first time reminded me of when i was 9 and i nearly drowned in a deep end of an ocean, it felt like my mind going to a place i didn’t know existed. there’s a compartment in my head saved for disasters and it held all my darkest emotions and panic, that compartment was sealed with a door and the fear of drowning and losing all my oxygen swung that door open while all those emotions made a show of making me feel like i was going through a slow death.
looking into your eyes for the first time felt like that slow death.
i was gasping for air, for anything familiar to save me from losing myself, my entire being, but the oxygen was running out and all i could see was blue.
looking into your eyes for the first time felt like that exact shade of blue.
then it all started to go dark, and that’s the moment you give in and just sink into the waters. i felt free, of everything, my body was weightless and my heart beat slowed. i gave in to not being. i gave in to letting the waves take me where i needed to go, a place that was free of all the resistance.
looking into your eyes for the first time took me to that place.
looking into your eyes for the first time deprived me of oxygen but your eyes are all i needed to breathe
i was pulled out of the ocean and into the sand, coming back up to see the sun wasn’t what your eyes felt like
because i’ve been drowning in you ever since