You were always my sun
I told you that a thousand times before
Every morning and in nearly every poem.
You lit my life
You kept me warm
You made me happy.

Even now that you ended it
Even though I remember our last few months were rough
I can't focus on anything but the good times.
The warmth in your smile
Watching the pulse in your neck in the morning
When I was big spoon.
The way you danced when you put on make up
The way you danced when we brushed our teeth (together, always)
The way you danced your way into my heart
And danced all over it while I showed you my world
And danced to my lips so that I'd kiss you while I grinned.
You were perfect.
We were perfect.

I'm left numb and cold,
Emotionless.
But I can't hate you
Because I can't remember if or why
I should

I have to remember
That you shattered me,
My world,
and everything I knew
Just to see if I'd come running back to you.

I didn't know.
I respected your decision.
And now
I live knowing that I was presented with
The only test that mattered
And I failed.