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My problem is that I feel too much.
When I was 14 I thought I loved a boy who cared nothing about me. I felt so much and didn't know how to handle it, so I began to cut.
When I cut it was the first time that I had control over what I felt, and it helped.
When I was 15 I fell in love with a boy who cared about me more than anything in the world.
I learned that there are better ways to be in control of what I felt, and I started writing poetry.
Now that I'm 19, and me and that boy have grown up, we've broken our own hearts by being so unsure with the world.
And I feel way too much.
More than when I thought I was in love the first time, more than when I knew I was in love the second.
My body is overcome by everything it feels.
My ******* turn into sobs.
My sobs turn into laughter.
Poetry helps, but not enough.
I haven't been eating enough, because by not eating I regain some control.
But I need something. I know there is something that is missing.
*And I'm going to find it.
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